It’s not that I am deliberately severing ties, I am just no longer participating, because I choose serenity & peace.
Needless to say I’m doing this for myself, because I am tired of dealing with judgements, drama, unnecessary comments, acts of sabotage, politics, power & control, sarcasms, and troubles from others. My own reasons for the disconnection stems from pain (as hard as it is to admit) which is associated with not being understood and being around fake people that lacks empathy. I told myself that life is already hard, it is unnecessary to allow others to make it harder. It is important to just go and leave, and find my inner peace somewhere….
There are certainly pros and cons to disconnecting from people you know or have known your entire life including friends and family, and you would feel like you are disconnecting from the world and from your own reality. Some of us may do it for other reasons, but nevertheless, I believe the pros and cons apply to many of us.
The Pros:
- A Sense of Liberty — I think it is almost impossible to live having felt a sense of liberty when your life revolves around pleasing others. Whether or not we are conscious of it, I believe many of us try to please some people to an extent and too much of it is draining. When you finally disconnect, a sense of Liberty is ideally what you get. You gain control over the navigation of your own life and you decide what you would like to do with it. Instead of feeling like your mind is constantly and overly wrapped in the unravelling thoughts of negativity and worries about life, reality, and the people in your life, letting go and disconnecting from it would grant you freedom.
- Improvement in Self Awareness — You get to spend more time alone and engaging with your own clouds of thoughts. You get more time journalling and meditating, and with that, you would gain better understanding about yourself and the areas that you would like to work on/improve/change.
- You gain a personality that belongs ONLY to you — A motivation speaker Jim Rohn once quoted that “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. I am not pointing towards complete isolation here, because it is inevitable that we would still interact with some people and strangers on a daily basis. However, when you cease to actively participate in other people’s life and affairs or you choose to disconnect and only focus on yourself, it is expected that with time, you will construct a personality unique only to yourself, which is to say that your personality is no longer influenced or built by the people around you.
The Cons:
- Feeling Isolated — Humans are social creatures, it takes a strong mind and time adaptation for someone to be completely happy feeling isolated. I remember feeling loss, gloomy, and depressed after what feels like I am disconnecting from the world and my reality when I was overseas for many months. The overwhelming feeling of isolation where you felt like there is no one looking out for you eventhough you are surrounded by strangers indeed is a scary and daunting fact.
- You may lose people (but gain new perspectives) — Yes, you may lose some connections, or even in some case, your entire social network, but your sense of self become stronger. You will understand that you are enough and capable regardless of others, and that most often, you alone can stand in the face of calamity.
My disconnection happens when I travel or live in another country far away from my home country where nobody knows my name. I still enjoy the momentary interaction with new people at the gym and at events, sharing a brief conversation with the barista about the latte that I ordered, and appreciating the sight of people living out their life and carrying out their daily errands and chores.
Disconnecting with people we used to know may feel unfamiliar and even quite uncomfortable at the start. But if it grants you that peace of mind and sense of liberty that you have sought for so long, go for it!
