When someone doesn’t love you enough
It’s not that they don’t love you, perhaps they just didn’t love you enough
Does your relationship feels one-sided but yet not so one-sided? You could feel that imbalance in your relationship and the love scale tipping, and it is so hard to admit to yourself that this person just didn’t love you enough when he/she have shown you some love.
Once the love scale tips, one party is going to invest more and want more, while the other retreats into his or her own space all the time
Yes, love cannot possibly be measured or quantified. Despite that, I always believed that love can be comparative. When you love the other person more, you could just feel it in your gut before your mind could even register it. It isn’t enough, because you know to what extent you could love this person and perhaps their love just isn’t enough to measure up to yours.
There are days you have these unsettling and unfulfilled feeling and you just couldn’t rub it off nor could you pinpoint as to why it existed within you. Maybe at the back of your mind, you knew you could always go over and beyond or even sacrifice so much for this person but he/she wouldn’t do the same.
Love isn’t a competition, but it should always be balanced and equal from both sides.
When there is an absence of love from the other person, it is so much easier to identify that and choose to leave. You know very well that you have no more reason to stay in a loveless relationship which will lead to a lot of unhappiness and emptiness down the line. However, when the other person loves you but just not enough, deciding to leave or to stay with this person become so much more complicated and harder. You know you deserve someone who loves you enough or as equally as you do, but your heart couldn’t stop convincing you that the love that they have shown towards you (despite your mind knowing that it is very little or not enough) is what you should settle for.
Although it is very important to follow your gut instincts when it comes to someone not loving you enough, but without giving your relationship some time, you might be misled into thinking that your relationship is doomed. So..
Give the relationship some time and evaluate
Do you know him/her well enough to really judge that he/she love really don’t love you enough? Could it be, maybe he/she is just shy or not so comfortable in showing his/her affections for you? or is it that he/she just isn’t willing to make time to travel down to spend quality time together with you and you are the only one constantly making the effort?
If it is the latter, you know his/her love isn’t enough. LOVE = EFFORT. period. Surely you could wait for his/her love to grow and progress, but you need to ask yourself, do you think that his/her love could balance yours given 3/5/10 years? And are you willing to wait that amount of time? Remember, time is golden, so if a person don’t love you enough after the first 6 months to 1 year of dating, it is very likely that he/she won’t ever love you enough.
If it is the former, it is important for you to communicate with your partner about your needs and your love language before automatically assuming that he/she doesn’t love you enough. Sometimes different people have different love language, and the way a person show his/her love could be very different from how we receive it.
Decide
There are no hard and fast rules to dating, you decide what you can accept and what you couldn’t after giving your relationship enough time and evaluation.
It is a blessing to have balanced or equal love in a relationship, though that may not always be the case. In the end, you may have to ask yourself if you are willing to settle for someone who didn’t love you enough and if you will be happy in the long run.
